Big Ups and put downs

I'm sure I've mentioned how important looking good is here in Jamaica. Even when people just go to the local shop, they change out of their 'yaad' clothes. This weekend I bought two shirts, one for me and one for Khaled, to work in. Mine is white with pintucks along the front and his is a blue bush jacket. Perhaps I should've bought mine a little larger, but tight clothes are popular here, and there weren't any larger sizes.
Jamaican culture has a way of rapidly inflating and deflating your ego, so as to keep you on your toes. I wore my new shirt with a tan skirt and white and tan shoes to work yesterday (it is extremely important to match your shoes to your outfit) and received many compliments both in my office and 'pon da road'. Men love to scream and pssst you from a distance or get right in your face and start rubbing your hands. Yesterday I got everything from 'I've loved you all along, come with me' to 'brownin' you need one Jamaican man' and beyond. Thankfully I've passed the point of exceptionally crude references within my community. At this point I only get the really gross stuff when I'm away from site or if the person is crazy (literally).
So I came home, getting another compliment from my favorite taxi man, and stepped out of the car at the end of our lane. A woman I know was there, on her way to the shop. She usually sits on her veranda and I've only ever said hello to her as I pass so I thought it was strange that she started a conversation with me. We talked about her pickney, how dem nah in school right now, how them make trouble, etc. Then she says 'You've put on a lot of weight'. I just stood there, I didn't know what to say. Eventually she says 'you look nice and fat now', so I say 'maybe your thinking of the other Peace Corps (as we are often confused with our predecessors)' but she insists its me. Then she says 'Maybe you pregnant'
What!! No I assured her, I'm not pregnant, and my scale even says I've lost weight since entering Peace Corps. Finally she says maybe its my clothes (aka the cute white shirt that has garnered comments all day). I leave it there, not wanting to go any further. Given that 24 hours have passed I'm sure the entire neighborhood thinks I'm pregnant now. I better really lose some weight just to show I'm not.
Whats interesting is how badly Jamaican women want me to be pregnant. This is the second reference to my non-existent pregnancy this week! The first came from the Peace Corps nurse, when I called to get clearance to go to the doctor because I've been feeling nauseous a lot and have runny belly. This could have to do with my rainwater, bad chicken, stress, not sleeping enough, or whatever. But the first thing she says is, 'I think you might be pregnant', with a little glee in her voice. I let her down gently, and again requested doctor clearance so I can get some pills to kill whatever parasite is living in my intestines.
In the end, it all comes down to be careful what you ask for. I decided to dress to fit in, wear appropriate clothing and look nice like a Jamaican woman. I could've easily just dressed like a scruffy American and gotten away with it (many volunteers do), but I want to adapt. Apparently I've adapted too well, to the point where I now receive the subtle Big Ups and put downs that are a part of everyday life for a Jamaican woman.